Hear me out my heart

i love you

Come away, my dear

Walk this Earth

Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet
 

Thich Nhat Hanh

Punch Tipsy Love

Can we call this love?
Or perhaps lobe?

A touch of you sway the waves.
Your mild stare.

Sorry I don't know how to react.
We've had our disagreement.
I'm fine with agree to disagree,  but you don't sometimes.

You and your assumption,
I want you to confirm it before firm it
Sad.  Am fairly devastated.

Hid my story from you,  just to find myself staring on who views it.

Man

You got me

Will you run?
Will you be back?

Am i like this just because you're about to leave me?
How about our dreams?  Your dream,  my dream. Will they collide?

Is this fair?
Fuck you Julio
I just want to hold you.
Let our pain and worries melt

Damn
You're gone now.  Disappeared.
Fuck your ego for wanting everyone else suffers from the loss.
I know you won't escape the pain too.

But still....
Damn it! Punches aren't enough.

It's your heart that needs to heal.
So time.. I give you time to heal.
To be freed,  to understand yourself more.

To understand which is the true essence and which is the shadow.

May you be at peace.
I dunno if I have loved you or haven't.
But today, I've got a good quote from a friend.

Love harder.

Yes.  I will do.
And not only for you.  for God, myself,  my family and everyOne.

Thank you, Julio.
May we all remember our Essence and walk the journey within.

Love,

D

Fictional Character I'm in love with: Dr. Manhattan / Jon Osterman

His complexities, his understanding, his wisdom, his chivalry, and his profound love to all beings melted my heart.

Dr. Manhattan (John Osterman)

Pertanyaan mengenai jempol

(photo credit: stock snap via pixabay) 

Sudah sering terjadi dalam Whatsapp, pada suatu group chat atau personal chat, jika seseorang mengutarakan atau berkomentar mengenai sesuatu yang kita rasa bagus atau kita kagumi, maka akan kita berikan emoji jempol.

Seiring perkembangan Whatsapp, sekarang kita bisa memilih menggunakan emoji yang dapat disesuaikan dengan warna kulit. Saya menyambut hal ini dengan sukacita, Semakin banyak pilihan, semakin beragam warna yang dapat secara kognitif kita ketahui, sadari dan dapat pilih. Sehingga memicu keterbukaan mindset akan keragaman dan perbedaan. Saya rasa hal ini pun cukup penting.

Mengapa?

Insight ini pertama saya dapatkan dari menonton video ini

Sinopsis video: 

Video ini serangkaian video yang terinspirasi dari eksperimen sosial doll test yang pertama kali dilakukan oleh Kenneth and Mami Clark pada tahun 1940an di Amerika. Beberapa anak dari berbagai ras diajak untuk mengidentifikasi dan memilih antara 2 boneka. Boneka berkulit terang dan boneka berkulit gelap. Hasilnya adalah sebagian besar anak memilih boneka berwarna kulit terang, pilihan tersebut datang dari anak yang berwarna kulit terang sampai beberapa anak yang berkulit berwarna (coloured). Eksperimen tersebut tidak berhenti sampai disini. Kemudian mereka ditanya mengenai alasan mengapa mereka memilih boneka itu dan mengapa tidak memilih boneka yang satunya. Dengan sebagian besar memilih boneka berkulit terang, alasan mereka adalah karena mereka merasa boneka tersebut cantik/lebih bagus. Sedangkan ketika ditanya mengapa tidak memilih boneka berkulit gelap satunya, dengan polosnya mereka menjawab karena boneka itu dirasa lebih jelek.

Hal ini membuat saya tercekat dan berpikir dalam. Dalam grup yang tidak memilih boneka berwarna kulit gelap sebagai pilihan terbaik, banyak dari anak tersebut juga memiliki warna kulit yang cukup mirip dengan kulit boneka yang tidak mereka pilih dengan kecenderungan alasan bahwa boneka itu “tidak cantik atau tidak baik”.

Saya baru menyadari, bahwa ternyata beragam pilihan warna memang dibutuhkan, agar kita tidak hanya terbiasa dengan 1 pilihan, dan mungkin berpotensi menganggap pilihan tersebut yang terbaik dan yang lain kurang baik.

Saya ingat ketika saya masih kanak-kanak, saya begitu terbiasa dengan boneka berkulit terang dan berambut pirang, begitu cantik ia di mata saya dan ditampilkan oleh iklan. Dan mungkin (jika dulu ada) boneka yang berbeda dengan boneka berkulit terang itu, belum tentu saya akan menganggap boneka itu sama atau lebih cantik dari boneka pertama, walaupun mungkin secara fisik boneka kedua lebih mirip dengan saya.

Saya tidak tahu ada berapa faktor dalam kecenderungan pemilihan ini, apakah mungkin:

A. Keterbiasaan dan keterbatasan pada 1 pilihan yang nyaris absolut imej baiknya?

B. Stereotipe mengenai suatu hal?

C. Terlalu dielu-elukan 1 preferensi tersebut?

D. Kekaguman dan pendambaan terhadap sesuatu yang tidak dimiliki, dan kurang bersyukur dan merasa bangga dengan keadaan sendiri?

Sejujurnya saya bukan fanatik pendukung suatu ras dan bukan juga pembenci ras tertentu.

Namun yang saya percayai adalah bahwa keberagaman itu penting untuk disadari, diterima dan dihargai. Dan saya merasa juga sangat penting untuk menerima diri apa adanya, tanpa merasa diri juga adalah yang paling superior.

Kembali kepada kasus jempol. Beberapa kali saya lihat beberapa kenalan menggunakan jempol berwarna kulit terang, walaupun mereka tidak memiliki kulit dengan warna tersebut (disini saya tidak bermaksud menunjuk suatu warna kulit lebih baik dari warna kulit lain).

Saya kemudian berpikir

Apakah hal ini kurang lebih mirip dengan fenomena eksperimen sosial boneka tersebut? 

Apakah pemilihan warna jempol menunjukan preferensi warna terbaik, tercantik atau terfavorit?

Saya sendiri tidak tahu dan tidak berani berasumsi. Karena saya tidak memiliki hak dan tidak mau menilai. Oleh karena itu saya ingin bertanya kepada anda,

Apa yang mendasari anda dalam pemilihan warna tersebut? 

Jika anda berminat sila menjawab atau memberi pendapat pada kolom komentar. 

Terima kasih :)

Are we home yet?

 (photo by: Elizabeth Lies via Unsplash)

Imagine your most ideal house. Close your eyes, take a deep breath

If I may assume, most of us would want to live in a cozy house with a beautiful garden (wide or small).

Where is it?

Is it next to a beach? On a mountain? Near the city? Apartment? Or in peaceful suburban area?

One thing in common is, it must be standing on a land.

I’ve always been thinking, we human, always in the need of more and more land.

In Indonesia in particular, even rice fields are more likely to be converted to be line ups of house clusters. 

More lands for housing, business, industry, entertainment, big buildings, etc.

We got more building needs that we should establish.

Have we ever thought that we are the only (I must underline and bold) species that has 100-stories-or-more buildings, wide spacious basements and etc. We inhabit possibly everywhere on earth (both land and on sea), as long we could attain the resources.

Where does it leave other species? we’ll always think of them as a disturbance and a pest, a cockroach on our bathroom, a group of ants in our sweets, mosquitoes that just won’t quit, rodents that are stealing our food, flies that exist for the indicator of whether something disgusting is on the radar, or grass on our lawn that keeps persistently growing and trees which roots are breaking our floor? We can name them, they’re so many.

Have we ever thought that we might be also disturbance to their natural habitat, their ecosystem? That we dominate their ‘house’ first?

Have we ever thought or even assess about what would happen to the existing ecosystem if we build something in some land? Honestly, I myself haven't.

We forgot about them. We forgot that we’re also an occupant in this earth.

What makes me sad and confused the most are

we arrogantly admit ownership on every single bit of land that we could find, we occupied every single space.

We change soil into ground, jungles into farms, prairie into parks, shrink nature and the whole ecosystem into lawn and garden, generalized and treat land as something lifeless and inactive called lots. 

We sell them and the whole inherited ecosystem within. It is a matter of survival for other species, whether they can survive to cohabit, move or die (or even extinct).

And we proudly say “I have a lot of lot, my house is everywhere, they have big beautiful wide landscapes and gardens” only roses, other beautiful plants and smartly disguised and discreet animals that could survive in those gardens. 

Aren’t we the richest creature? 

As I think that we should also consider to note is by disrupting the land and the ecosystem, our live might also be affected. There must be minor or major effect that will get to us. Mostly it’s the short term beneficial profit and long term non-beneficial chaos.

I was reading Nat Geo on Climate change issue 2015. They wrote about small house movement, the things that i always think about small houses are: 

1. Exciting 

2. Energy efficient and much greener 

3. More affordable 

4. It can be moved from time to time 

5. More independent. 

However they wrote something which made me realize (what I think the most profound reason, that it should be built) that it creates less distraction to spend more time outdoor. It has more open wide space that we ever thought about (if only we could shift our perspective, not inside out but outside in). It enable us to go into our real house, nature. 

Less walls, less separation, more connectivity with everyone and every beings.

If I ever remember traditional houses in Indonesia. Most culture and tribes here don’t occupy lots or wide closed space. It’s more connected to lawn, garden or even nature. One of the best house system that I’ve ever learnt is Dooryard system, which provides the endless cycle of energy. There’s a house, human, animal, and at least two kinds of plants (shrubs and trees), the ecosystem is still maintained however with human intervention. Though it’s still anthropocentric it still acknowledge the role that’s being played by other species.

Let’s go backward, let’s remember where and why we feel at home.

It can be about the person that will wait and be there with us.

But let’s dig deeper, don’t we sometimes feel at home in somewhere irrelevant with traditional/conventional house form? 

Isn’t it more when we feel that we’re connected with something or someone, 

and we feel a flow of love and positive energy toward us?

Let’s try to remember and redefine our ‘home’, slowly. 

I know that it’s a long process, I myself is still on that journey to search the feeling of being at home and a sense of connectedness with more human, beings and nature.

Let’s walk together on this road :)