hi love (part 2)

 One fine night, 

something urge me to click on the rainbow coloured circle on your profile picture.

Yes i know i saw you saw my stories. You've been watching and liking some of my post actually.

I'm shocked to see you in the perspective of usually me seeing you in front of me eating.

this girl tagged you in her stories saying something about finishing sushi eating in 30 minutes and thankful that you can do it @dxxxxxx

why i feel so saddened.

That night it is so hard to fall asleep.

The memory of seeing that story keep repeating itself on my mind.

regret, sadness, love that still exist on my heart and my soul brought a dream that i married you and met your whole family.

But maybe it might not be the case. I know we broke up.

I made you made that offer to me. And I'm sorry.

 

I tried to find the reasons behind my sadness and sorrow. 

It is the fact that i couldn't have and hold you anymore.

It is the fact that your love is so limited that you can't embrace me with the same kind of love that I always had actually not only to you but to everyone. Maybe to you was more than that. Because we were a couple.

I don't know for sure, whether she is your new girlfriend or not.

But yes, I know that limitation of yours. the day we said that officially broke up and you just exterminated everything. That the Love that you felt just extinguished. You put that off.

 I'm sad that most people can do that. And I could not.

I know I still love you, and saddened not only because you were with other women but rather that you don't love me like I do.

Okay. that's it. I guess.

I need to rant things out as coping mechanism i guess.

Hopefully this sadness faded and I could be happy again. That's a stupid thing to say I know.

I don't know what to pray. But I need to acknowledge the fact that you might not deserve my love since you can't understand nor practice this same thing. 

Bismillah Ya Allah. Astaghfirullah.